Hang On!
Hay Pavan, let's go on a trip, Dad/Bilal can we go later please. NO!!! we are
going today, right now. We are already late for our train, but can we go to
Burger King before we get on pleaseeeeš¢,No Pavan we have to go now
because we are going to get late for the train. Fine but you promise me to
get me something to eat on the train right!!!!!.Okay but please shush and
get ready. If you say so, Eventually we were in the station. Come on Pavan,
let's sit down and wait. Ummmmm, can I go to the toilet dad.Okay but come
quickly because we only have 5 minutes until the train arrives. Fine then
said Pavan, Pavan ran to the toilet and after 20 minutes waiting outside with
a grumpy face was a boring old dad just looking at me right in the eye.You
made us late that the train passed 10 minutes ago and now we have to wait
for an hour. What a big deal dad we can wait, No we can't, you were the
one that made us late and you know that I am not patient!!!!!!!
SORRY dad I really mean it ,No shut up let’s go back home,
what a waste of time, you know what dad I said. In a split second the
train caught my hand and I was holding onto the train until the next stop
which only took 10 minutes but I have to admit it, it was really hard to
hold on for that long. Woaw, what just happened said Bilal. Where did
Pavan go that quickly????? Bilal searched everywhere but there was
no sign of Pavan. Well who cares, I don’t like him anyway. He is so
annoying!!!!!! What would Pavan be thinking if he heard his own dad say
that!!!!!!!!!!!
going today, right now. We are already late for our train, but can we go to
Burger King before we get on pleaseeeeš¢,No Pavan we have to go now
because we are going to get late for the train. Fine but you promise me to
get me something to eat on the train right!!!!!.Okay but please shush and
get ready. If you say so, Eventually we were in the station. Come on Pavan,
let's sit down and wait. Ummmmm, can I go to the toilet dad.Okay but come
quickly because we only have 5 minutes until the train arrives. Fine then
said Pavan, Pavan ran to the toilet and after 20 minutes waiting outside with
a grumpy face was a boring old dad just looking at me right in the eye.You
made us late that the train passed 10 minutes ago and now we have to wait
for an hour. What a big deal dad we can wait, No we can't, you were the
one that made us late and you know that I am not patient!!!!!!!
SORRY dad I really mean it ,No shut up let’s go back home,
what a waste of time, you know what dad I said. In a split second the
train caught my hand and I was holding onto the train until the next stop
which only took 10 minutes but I have to admit it, it was really hard to
hold on for that long. Woaw, what just happened said Bilal. Where did
Pavan go that quickly????? Bilal searched everywhere but there was
no sign of Pavan. Well who cares, I don’t like him anyway. He is so
annoying!!!!!! What would Pavan be thinking if he heard his own dad say
that!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Pavan, thank you for sharing your writing with us. I can see you have thought about what each character was thinking and feeling - the Dad sounds a bit stressed out!
ReplyDeleteTeacher tip: each time a character talks you need to start a new line and use speech marks. Here is an example for you ...
"Hey Pavan, let's go on a trip," said Dad.
"Can we go later?" asked Pavan.
(You could also look at some books at home and see how they have set out the words characters say.)
I look forward to seeing more of your work.